As I was walking home this evening, from the Law Library, after having exhausted my brain from the long hours of studying, I was observing the night around me, thinking about the frosty air, dark sky, and watching the cars as they drove by me. Suddenly one of these cars, going about as fast as any other car on the road, slowed to a stop right in front of me. I slowed, my breathing becoming irregular, wondering what was going on, but kept on walking. As I began to walk past it, my breathing began to resume a normal pace, when suddenly the truck went into reverse, and for a moment it seemed like the driver was following me. What happened after that inspired the following story:
It seemed as though the driver was watching me, trying to get a closer look at me even, when suddenly they shifted into forward drive, and went into the Central Building's Parking lot. Looking back, I realized that they had stopped right in front of the driveway for the parking lot, and must have missed their turn, and were backing up just to get a second chance at getting into the lot. The car parked, and the driver got out, and I thought nothing of it, until the driver called out my name.
"Well, well, well if it isn't Tiana Marks," he said, loud enough so that I could hear, but low enough that it fit with the frigid darkness of the night.
I froze. I knew that voice too well. I tried to command my legs to move, to run, but no response came. It was as though all of my nerves had suddenly leaped into my heart, which was pounding vigourously, and also into my lungs, which had quickened their pace, all to no avail of my thought's commands to stop.
There was nothing to do but slowly turn towards him and act strong and brave. I was fairly good at acting those two things, even if they were the last things that I was feeling.
He walked towards me, a look of triumph on his face. I stared coldly back. He laughed.
"I would think, after all I've been through to find you, that you might be able to greet me with a kinder look."
I gasped. I couldn't help it. Here I was, thinking it was by some twisted curse of fate that had brought us to be at the exact place at the exact time, and yet it wasn't fate at all. He had planned it (except, exact time may have actually been fate. Had I not been out when I was, he probably wouldn't have found me tonight). His look of triumph increased, and his eyes softened.
"Yes, darling, I've been looking for you."
Hearing the endearment suddenly lit a fire in me as I old memories were brought to the front of my mind; memories that I wanted to forget. I was not pleased about them being brought back.
"Looking for me? Why?" I asked haughtily, pleased at how strong my voice sounded.
"Because you ran away from me. And I missed you," his voice was sweet, but it had the tenor of a lie attached to it.
"Ran away? I simply went to college!"
"And by doing so went away from me. Didn't I tell you I could provide a good life for us without you going to college?" He was right in front of me now.
"Numberless times," I murmered, my eyes narrowing.
"And didn't you believe me?" he whimpered.
"I had no doubt about your ability to provide for both of us financially, or a family."
"Then why did you come here?"
"Because I want an education."
"Didn't you realize that you wouldn't need an education if you married me?"
The fire that was burning in me had just been given kindling. I spoke slowly, calmly, and deliberately."I realized that financially, no, I would not need an education, assuming of course, that you did not die and leave me as a widow. I knew that I would not need an education under these circumstances."
"Then why did you leave me?"
"I guess I just didn't want the package."
Suddenly there was fire in his eyes as well. It scared me, naturally, as he was very close to me, and I knew that he was much stronger than me, and could easily hurt me. But another part of me was calmed, as though a reassurance of who he really was had just been presented to me. "Ah...there's that old anger," I thought, almost humorously, to myself.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he whispered icily, his words not matching his eyes.
"David, take a good look at me," I said.
His eyes began to move up and down my body, and I grabbed his face, and directed his eyes to mine.
"No. Take a good look at ME," and made him look into my eyes. This meant I had to look into his too, but such sacrifices had to be made. After about ten seconds I asked him, "What do you see?"
He looked away and then closed his eyes and shook his head. I asked him again.
He looked lost for words, but then that old sly smile creeped back onto his face. "Fear," he replied.
"Liar," I said, for at this time I felt no fear at all. I was in control.
The smile left his face. Then he took a deep breath. "I saw someone that I don't even know."
I smiled, a small, triumphant smile.
"From your first impression of this girl, what did you see in her?"
He took another deep breath. "I saw determination, focus, and discipline. I saw that this girl was in charge of her life, and that no one was going to run it for her."
"What kind of a partner in life do you think this girl is looking for?" I pressed.
He sighed, and then thought a moment. "I think she's looking for someone who will take care of her, but also let her make her own choices in life. Someone who will work right along side her the rest of his life."
"Are you this partner that I am looking for?"
He looked up at the sky, but I could tell he wasn't really looking at it. After a few more moments he replied, " I want to be, but I'm not. You're way too independent for me. I want a woman who will do what I tell her to, and admire me as the provider of our family."
I shook my head, and felt sorry for the woman who felt so insecure about herself, that she would allow someone to push her around like that. Certainly, some admiration should come for the man if he was the only one providing an income for the family to live off of, but I could tell David did not respect womanhood or even motherhood. He was not for me, and I was definitely not for him.
"Good night David," I said, and turned around and continued my walk down the sidewalk to my home.
David stared after me for a few moments, and then I heard him walk back to his car. Shortly afterwards, I heard his car engine start, and listened as he directed his car North, back to Washington, never to bother me again.
